Abraham, Pt. 2: "Short-Term Gain, Long-Term Pain" (Gen 13)

SHORT TERM GAIN, LONG TERM PAIN (GENESIS 13:5-14)
Once upon a time, there was a man who lived with his wife, two small children, and his elderly parents in a tiny hut. He tried to be patient and gracious, but the noise and crowded conditions wore him down.

In desperation, he consulted the village wise man. “Do you have a rooster?” asked the wise man. “Yes,” he replied. “Keep the rooster in the hut with your family, and come and see me again next week.” The next week, the man returned and told the wise elder that the living conditions were worse than ever, with the rooster crowing and making a mess of the hut. “Do you have a cow?” asked the wise elder. The man nodded fearfully. “Take your cow into the hut as well, and come see me in a week.” Over the next several weeks, the man - on the advice of the wise elder - made room for a goat, two dogs and his brother’s children.

Finally, he could take it no more, and in a fit of anger, kicked out all his guests, leaving only his wife, his children and his parents. The home suddenly became spacious and quiet, and everyone lived happily ever after. (Source: The Hope Health Letter, Leadership, Winter 96)

Besides his son Abraham and daughter-in-law Sarai (Gen 11:31), Terah took his grandson Lot with him to Haran, where the family accumulated possessions and acquired servants (Gen 12:5). Lot was the nephew of Abram; his deceased father, Haran, was Abram’s brother (Gen 11:30-32). After the death of Terah in Haran, God called Abram to resume the journey to Canaan. An embarrassing detour to Egypt when a famine struck Canaan resulted in even more gifts than they had ever had before, with courtesy from Pharaoh, who had eyes on Sarai (Gen 12:16, 13:2). Abram now had much wealth in livestock, gold and silver (Gen 13:2), but before long, a misunderstanding and a conflict arose between Abram and Lot’s herdsmen (Gen 13:7).

Abram was the winner in the dispute when he allowed Lot to pick first the land of his choice. How were Abram's values superior to Lot's? Abram trusted God as his guide, while Lot trusted his feelings to guide him. Lot made a lousy choice because his criteria were flawed and the consequences were tragic.

The key to joy is the contentment that Christ gives in any and every situation - whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Paul says, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” (Phil 4:12-13).

So, how does a contented man behave? What guides him? Why is contentment a safeguard against prosperity, temptation and strife?

Shun Quarrelsome Practices
5 Now Lot, who was moving about with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents. 6 But the land could not support them while they stayed together, for their possessions were so great that they were not able to stay together. 7 And quarreling arose between Abram's herdsmen and the herdsmen of Lot. The Canaanites and Perizzites were also living in the land at that time. 8 So Abram said to Lot, “Let's not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herdsmen and mine, for we are brothers. 9 Is not the whole land before you? Let's part company. If you go to the left, I'll go to the right; if you go to the right, I'll go to the left.” (Gen 13:5-9)

The first mark of a contented man is a disinterest in and a distaste of quarreling. For Abram, quarreling with anyone, especially with someone who meant a lot to him, instead of resolving a problem and salvaging a relationship was unacceptable.

My father had an elder brother, a younger brother and a younger sister, who was the youngest in the family. My quiet elder uncle married a feisty wife, the type that talks loudly, terrorizes neighbors and unsettles people. She demands the last word in a conversation, must be one up on others and makes sure everyone knows who is boss.

Troubles in the family surfaced when my youngest aunt made her wedding plans. She was the favorite child at home because she was the youngest member and the only girl in the family. For unknown reasons, her plans did not include a wedding banquet, her eldest brother’s family or anyone in the family. The wedding couple was young, poor, carefree, independent and idealistic. The eldest brother’s wife threw a fit, but my grandmother, the family matriarch, sided with her daughter.

The two families did not get along nor did they make up since. My grandmother’s death was literally the last nail in the coffin for the two strained families. The daughter came dutifully to attend her mother’s funeral, but commotion broke out at the funeral parlor. My eldest aunt by marriage, now the new matriarch of the family, forbade the youngest daughter and her family from attending the funeral, burning incense or paying respects.

Ever since, the two families had lost contact with each other for 35 years and counting; their kids had never talk or met. Even the adult son of my eldest uncle said this of her mother: “It's because of my mother we do not know who our cousins are.”

It’s been said: “No matter how right you are, no matter how wrong the other people are, no matter how much evidence you have to prove it, you will never get them to agree with you by arguing them down.” (Bits & Pieces 1/9/92)

Shunning quarrels is wise, classy and rewarding. Abram and Lot did not quarrel with each other, but they still had to separate because their herdsmen were fiercely loyal to their masters. The matter was serious, the herdsmen were out of control, and a lot of lives were at stake. Abram knew that he and Lot were able to control themselves, but he wanted the best for both groups of herdsmen. The worse thing in conflict is to involve other groups, incite them to anger or inflame the issue.

Abram even said “...for we are brothers.” (13:8) Was Abram really Lot’s brother? No. Abram was the uncle, deserving of family respect and first pick, but he gave Lot the right to choose. To keep the family relationship, Abram forsook his right as the older relative, lowered himself to that of a brother and made the first move to resolve differences. Abram did not have the air and attitude of a patriarch, an uncle or a landlord. Abram's words made sense to his nephew Lot: “Is not the whole land before you? Let’s part company.” (13:9) There was plenty of land, grain and fortune for both. Abram was mentally clear, rationally balanced and definitely smart in decision-making. He did not allow his heart to take over or get the better of his head.

Quarrelling in the family, whether the quarrel is with a sibling, a child, a parent, an in-law or a relative, makes losers of everyone. It frays and distances families, polarizes innocent onlookers and embroils future generations. Goodwill is hard to win and easy to lose.

Shun Questionable Places
10 Lot looked up and saw that the whole plain of the Jordan was well watered, like the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, toward Zoar. (This was before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.) 11 So Lot chose for himself the whole plain of the Jordan and set out toward the east. The two men parted company: 12 Abram lived in the land of Canaan, while Lot lived among the cities of the plain and pitched his tents near Sodom. 13 Now the men of Sodom were wicked and were sinning greatly against the LORD. (Gen 13:10-13)

The next mark of a contented person is an avoidance of questionable places.

I know of a church leader who fell into sin on an overseas assignment. His wife and family were supposed to join him in the summer, when the kids were out of school. One night his wife received a call from a friend to fly straight to Hong Kong. She packed her bags, entrusted her kids to friends and caught the next available flight to Hong Kong. What was the rush? Her husband, who was stationed in Hong Kong, was seen in the company of bar girls in mainland China. How did it happen? In China? Wasn’t he supposed to be in Hong Kong? The church leader, like many erring husbands, was in a popular hotspot in Shenzhen, the city bordering Hong Kong that is a hotbed of entertainment, commerce and social activities due its close proximity to and a short ride from Hong Kong.

Sadly, seventeen years before, a young teenage girl had reported seeing the same leader smoking outside a nightclub. She told a few people, including the pastor, but the man denied it, and the church leaders believed the man and not the teenager. Everyone thought she was mistaken then, and now all who were told felt like fools. However, the saddest thing was that the same person had played with fire, flirted with disaster and deceived his family, friends, and church leaders for at least seventeen years.

The problem of Lot was that he was deceived by looks and feelings. What four actions characterized Lot in Hebrew (13:10)? He “raised his eyes,” “saw,” “chose” and “joureyed.” Why did Lot choose to go east and pick the whole plain of Jordan? The plains of Jordan were well-watered, a combination of Eden and Egypt. Either Lot had forgotten his uncle’s no-win, all-lose incident in Egypt even though he was there himself, or he simply did not care! Did Pharaoh's power, riches, gifts get into his head?

Lot went farther and farther and ended up in Sodom and Gomorrah, the place of coming destruction. Lot was an extreme and reckless risk-taker. He wanted to see how far he can go without being burned. Unlike Abram, Lot's heart controlled his head. The pull of Sodom lured him eastward and he blatantly ignored the obvious signs. His eyes grew larger, his appetite got bigger and his heart more ambitious. His philosophy was like the bumper sticker I saw at the back of a car: “How much sin can I get away with and still get to heaven?”

Sodom and Gomorrah was a morally deceptive, spiritually bankrupt and physically dangerous place. Lot was more concerned for the city to be beautiful than the people to be good. There were less than 10 righteous people in the city (Gen 18:32).

The people of the city were not just wicked; twice the Scriptures emphasized the word “greatly” in regard to their sin (Gen 13:13, 18:20). They were guilty of excessive, gross and continuous willful disobedience. Further, Genesis 14 reveals that for fourteen years Sodom was a hotbed of war, politics and dissent (Gen 14:5). Eventually Abram had to risk his life and his 318 men’s lives (Gen 14:14) to rescue Lot, who planted himself right in the path of nine warring kings (Gen 14:1).

Shun Quick Payoffs
14 The LORD said to Abram after Lot had parted from him, “Lift up your eyes from where you are and look north and south, east and west. 15 All the land that you see I will give to you and your offspring forever. 16 I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth, so that if anyone could count the dust, then your offspring could be counted. 17 Go, walk through the length and breadth of the land, for I am giving it to you.” 18 So Abram moved his tents and went to live near the great trees of Mamre at Hebron, where he built an altar to the LORD. (Gen 13:14-18)

Many years ago, a friend who returned to Singapore after his studies in the States asked me to keep his checks and check his mail, which was transferred to my house. The checks were signed so that I could pay for the credit card he charged once or twice a year in Singapore, since applying for a credit card over there was extremely hard. Along with his regular mail, I also received junk mail, magazines and government correspondence. The toughest tasks were sending to him his income tax documents and driving license and getting him to sign unsigned checks after the first book was finished.

The job got harder when I, too, left Los Angeles for continuing education in Chicago. I took with me my friend’s checks, forwarded his mail to my new address, and paid his credit card bills from Chicago. The complication extended further because I was temporarily staying with my cousin in Chicago! What a weird experience. After two years, he returned for some government business and to forward his mail to Singapore. It did not occur to him or me that banks and credit card companies were willing to send his mail even to Singapore. Waiting for the two years’ odyssey to end was a lifetime to me.

Waiting for the fulfillment of God’s promise can be trying, taxing and tiresome because God’s promises are often fulfilled in part or by installments, and seldom all at once.

Abram knew that the Lord’s promise could be trusted; however, he also learned that the declaration and the fulfillment of God’s promise were two different things. Patience and perseverance were required to overcome panic when God’s promise was slow to arrive. The Lord, on His part, reassured Abram seven times altogether and reiterated His promise – the promise of an heir, numerous descendants, and the Promised Land (Gen 12:1-3, 13:14-17; 15:5, 17:1-8, 18:10; 21:12; 22:16-18).

The fulfillment of God’s land promise to Abram was eventually secured in the time of Joshua (Josh 23:14), a delay of more than 600 years from the day God first promised Abram. The waiting period include 180 years of his son Isaac’s life (Gen 35:28), 400 years in Egypt (Gen 15:13) and 40 years in the wilderness. The final installment of God’s promise to Abram - all the peoples on earth will be blessed through Abram (Gen 12:3) - was ultimately fulfilled forty-two generations later in Jesus Christ the Messiah (Matt 1:17), not hundreds of years but thousands of years later!

Lot, however, was not the type to wait. His decision to settle for a quick payoff was the worst kind of home purchase and real estate blunder. He boxed himself in, limited his options and chose on impulse. His first mistake was limiting himself to right or left, and not whether right or wrong. Next, he fell in love with the densely populated east when the spacious north, south and west (13:15) and the length and breath of the land (13:17) - up, down, and around - were available to him. Lastly, Lot chose city over suburbia or rural; he chose the cities of the plain over the great trees of Mamre (v 18) and preferred density and crowding to nature and space. In today's terms, Lot was indifferent to location, neighbors or traffic.

Conclusion: God cares for His people, provides for their needs and keeps from danger those who believe in Him, depend on Him and honor Him by upholding godly principles, making wise decisions, and living righteous lives. Are you letting daily provisions (1 Tim 6:8), monthly pay (Lk 3:14) or changing circumstances (Phil 4:11) trouble you? Do you trust God to be your fixed possession (Heb 13:5), your continual provision (Mt 6:33, Phil 4:13) and your everlasting portion?